i'm not sure if i'm too demanding, queen control or he just want to have fun.

it's not fair for me to take off in lieu today to just sit home and babysit his two sons whereas he is out there with his peers.

i've planned to stay home today to spend time with my boys together with him.

how much time have we waste to work already?

we need to catch up the things that we missed with our sons.

simple logic is some times hard to install in his hard damaged brain cells.

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i'm sick and tired of repetition words.

if he can't compromise, i'm not sure if i can hold on longer.

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aside to this, actually he is not a bad daddy.

it's just that at times, i feel that he still wants to go out with his friends.

and have innocent fun.

but still....???

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i'm not sure how am i going to cope on this.

i'm always the one who gives in and he's the taker.

but till when can my patience last with me?

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i've tried various ways to talk him out but he is not keen on the idea.

and.... he would flare up easily.

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times like this together with my workload at madness and two kids seeking attention drives me to the extreme insane.

of course, i'm not that insane and stupidity to think of sucidal or cut my wrist or pop myself with pills no more.

it's game over for me.

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i can just pray that one day, will he open his damn heart and see the possiblities why i prefer him to have a family time instead of just sheer enjoyment.

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we can still enjoy of course, together with the boys.

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maybe he is still young and wants to enjoy.

i can't blame him.

he's barely 21 when we got married.

so what have i got to say?

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urgh..