i still remember clearly how i fight to keep my independence in supporting myself together with my boyfriend back then.
yes. my boyfriend because i wasn't legally married yet at that moment of time.

my parents dared me that i can't support myself.
they're so wrong and they knew it.

i worked my ass of since i know i'm pregnant four months.
yes four months.
i called Danish at that time "little one" as i'm clueless over his gender.
since i'm opting to consult a private doctor, it has cost a bomb on my consultation fees.
about 100 - 200 plus.
i still remember crystal clear that i'm the one who has been paying the fees as boyfriend was still serving his NS.
yes me. my workmates said i'm stupid, why should i carry the burden myself.
but they don't know the actual root of the financial so i told them to shut up or if they don't mind paying for me, then by all means, you can criticised my boyfriend.

i'm lack of iron and calcium and the doctor keep on reminding me to intake more of those.
i'm cash strapped that i don't deny.
so, in order to have sufficient cash for my followed up check up each month, i starved myself.
yes. starved.
my pregnancy wasn't an easy one.
i'm always hungry but in order to keep that hunger away from my thoughts, i drank lotsa plain water.
yes. just plain water.
it cost me only 45cents.
that pathetic of me.
so everyday at work i will be seen drinking plain water till my workmates asked me why i'm not going for lunch.
i just gave stupid reasons.
and i spent my lunch hour by the library everyday.
reading from one novel to another.
and so forte.
that's how i spent my lunch hour.

unbelievable?
you bet.
but if you're totally cash strapped like me during those days, only you know how it feels like.
if not, just shut up and read.
bored already?
no worries, just close the window on your top right hand corner.

back to the story.

after our marriage course that we attended has given us the green light to solemnise our marriage, i quit my cashier-cum-customer service job which required me to stand up to 8hours.
yes. that very tiring job.
i've got my feet sore each day.

when i got married, things wasn't as rosy as it was.
we've got financially problems everyday.
but we take each day as it is.
we learned not to borrow money from our parents.
yes.
not even a cent did i asked them.
that hard.

most of you thinks that my boyfriend is the only child and he's pampered.
you're wrong.
for his is one independent guy that i ever met in my entire life.

this is the path that i chose.
so this is how we're going through together.
patience did wear off.

my financial with him got better each time he was promoted.
even 20bux more each time means alot to us.
yes.
that pathetic of me to count every cent.

but, the miserable life of ours has gone for now then hubby found himself landed back in airport after missing for 2years.
i know he loved it there and i hope he'll remain there till god knows when.

why am i telling such a story?
because i want you people out there to know that live with a kid is not easy as what you think it is.
try to sacrifice for your kid.
don't always think about your needs as your kid needs is much more important on the list.
set your priorities straight.
don't always depend on your parents.

our kids is our responsibilities and not our parents.
they're the one whom we are going to groom what they are going to be in the near future.

so...
if you want to have sex before marriage think about the consequences for i did learn my lesson.
and if u think im not independent think again.
because i never ever bother my parents again after that.

i gave up shopping for a good 1year plus.
yes.
no new clothes for me.
at all.

so now you know i was a haggard one little mother before good things were to come by.

i'm done.

if you guys by chance feel my words are spicy, too bad.
learn from it for i say from the bottom of my heart towards what life is actually is.

daaaaaaaaa.......