i can't breathe just now.
hubby was all panicking already.
i more panic.
i thought i was going to die.
seriously.
i was like mengucap and stuffs already.
it lasted quite long.
hubby said if i happens one more time, off we go to KKH.

i lose my temper to baby dan today.
am guilty for what i did and said earlier on.
haix. now he's very cold towards me.
sedih tau.
it has never happened before.

this pregnancy, i'm very short tempered.
still wondered why.
i wish i was ever soft again like the way i used to towards baby dan.
shit shit.
and i was telling hubby maybe my depression came back after so long.

all i can do is just pray.
by praying will only my mind and heart be as ease.
and i'm still contemplating whether to work or not.

all so confused right now.
and hubby thinks i should rest more and stop thinking unnecessarily.

off to bed.

i still love u baby dan no matter what.
even if u still refused to kiss and hug me.
my love for u never die.
maybe because you're one with me for a good 36wks.
love you darling!