it has been 3 years.
the wound is still visible.
and each time i looked at it, i had visions of what happened.
i've been trying to throw away those emotional feelings with every failed attempt.
i hate you. and i will never forgive you.
why am i so stubborn.
just get over it and done with.
i wished i could.
but you can never win with emotions involved.

i hate to delude myself.
but what choice do i have?

situation is so complicated right now.
i don't know if i should i just give a piece of my mind or remain silent.
if i do remain silent i'm the one who is going to suffer the most.
if i give my piece of mind the other party gets the pain.

hubby, thanks for being patient with me.
you're still willing to be with me even though you know my history.
what more can i ask?

i know 3 years is long enough for you to bear the pain with me.
the hatred, the suffering, the complicated feelings.
and worst still, my two personality that makes you confused at times.
i know it's scary that i can switched within seconds like the speed of lightning.

i know for sure, i love you lots hubby.

anyway, happy 18th months Danish.
daddy will buy you your tricycle on sunday.
this is our promise to you.